What Trauma Therapy Really Looks Like (and How It Helps You Heal)

What Is Trauma, Really?

We all experience events throughout our life that leave a variety of impacts. Some of the events may be unpredictable, jarring, and maybe have changed the way you view yourself, others, and the world. At its core - trauma can be defined as an event or series of events that are life threatening and/or emotionally disturbing. The event(s) may have left you feeling overwhelmed, unsafe, or changed. Reactions to stressful or traumatic events are normal and expected. However, trauma that goes unresolved can lead to a variety of symptoms that may cause difficulties in our day to day lives.   

Trauma is not just about  the event that happens, but how your mind and body have perceived and processed the event(s).  While some people may have minimal impairment and recover quickly, others may be left feeling stuck, fearful, or disconnected. Trauma isn’t always visible, and it doesn’t have a “one-size-fits-all” definition—what’s traumatic for one person might not be for someone else.

The term “big T’s” and “little t’s” are often used when talking about types of trauma. However, no type of trauma is too big or too small for therapy. Whether you have experienced abuse, violence, neglect, chronic invalidation, or even ongoing stress - you still deserve to heal. If you catch yourself saying “they had it worse - I’ll be fine” - here’s a reminder that it does not matter. Your story is yours and does not need to be compared. If you find yourself feeling anxious, emotional numbness, disconnectedness from others, shutdown and alone, feelings of shame, or intrusive thoughts - you may be experiencing a trauma reaction. 

It’s normal to feel hesitant, nervous, guarded, or unsure about starting trauma therapy, but your therapist will work with you to ensure that the process goes at a safe and manageable pace. Let’s look more at the process and what trauma therapy is. 

The First Stage of Trauma Therapy: Creating Safety

There are many different methods to approaching trauma work. Some of these methods may include: Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR), somatic experiencing, Internal Family System (IFS) or parts work, trauma-focused CBT, attachment theories, and many more. What most of these approaches have in common is that the first step is almost always creating safety. 

The goal of creating safety is building trust with your therapist and with yourself. Trauma therapy work can bring up painful memories and illicit unfavorable symptoms and responses. It is important to feel comfortable in the space and with the person that you are working with to explore these memories. Your therapist then may help you learn ways to regulate your body when distressing memories or sensations arise. These skills may include grounding, mindfulness, education, parts work, and breathing techniques. 

There is no set time frame on how long this process takes. It is all about your comfort level; you set the pace.

The Work of Trauma Therapy: Understanding & Processing

Once a feeling of safety is established, deeper work can begin. Trauma processing involves talking and exploration, and sometimes incorporates body-based tools. Traumatic events cause biological changes that affect the entire body and brain, especially the nervous system. By combining both practices, you can address memories and emotions, as well as physical sensations in response to triggers. When our bodies are calm and relaxed, we can access and perform more mental work.

Mental processing of trauma focuses on reconsolidating, or reprocessing, the memories and emotions associated with the event(s). Our brains use past experiences to help us make decisions and protect ourselves in the future. We are adapted to look for danger and protect ourselves from it. Our fight-or-flight responses are helpful when danger is present, but our brains haven't fully caught up with modern times and can sometimes go into overdrive, becoming overprotective. This can lead to unhelpful reactions to what our brain perceives as dangerous, even if it isn't.

Processing aims to recondition our brain's responses (e.g., emotions, physical and psychological symptoms) to perceived threats. This can be achieved through various methods, as previously mentioned. Discuss different approaches with your clinician to determine what might be best for you.

The Integration Phase: Reclaiming Yourself

The goal at the end of all of this deep work is to help you feel more like your authentic self. Each person may have a different idea of what that looks like, or how their life may be different at the end of trauma work - but reclaiming yourself is a transformative experience. This may look like learning to trust your instincts and set boundaries. Maybe your nervous system is calmer and you are no longer seeing safety and danger. You may shift your narrative to a story of shame to one of self-compassion and empowerment. My hope is always that we have strengthened your sense of self to feel more calm, grounded, and whole.

What Trauma Healing Feels Like Over Time

• Fewer panic responses, more grounded decision-making
  
  

• More self-trust and less over-explaining or apologizing
  
  

• Healthier relationships rooted in boundaries and reciprocity
  
  

• Feeling more you—not walking on eggshells or stuck in survival mode

You Are Not Too Much to Heal; Start Your Journey

I often hear people say that they waited to start therapy because they felt that they weren’t strong enough to talk about their experience; that other people had it worse than them so they should just get over it; that it has been so long, so what is the point? The truth is that you do not have to carry this alone anymore. If you are struggling, you deserve to be heard and you deserve to heal. 

Therapy can help you find safety not just in the world, but in yourself. Healing is possible, even if you have been stuck for a long time. If you would like to learn more about trauma therapy or think you may benefit, I encourage you to start the conversation!